Unexpressed emotional needs are like a stream that gets blocked by fallen branches forming a dam. Eventually the water behind the dam finds its way over or around the blockage and the stream continues on. The same holds true for unexpressed emotions. When you don’t acknowledge what you need, either to yourself or to another person, the emotions don’t go away. They either get expressed indirectly or can show up in your body as physical symptoms: headaches, ulcers, teeth-grinding, etc. These painful physical signals show the effort the body goes through to manage unexpressed feelings. I do want to clarify that many physical symptoms are not emotionally based, and all should be discussed with your medical or wellness practitioner.

 In my experience as a therapist (this article was written by Karol Ward, therapist … not me!) , unexpressed emotions continue to knock at the door of our conscious minds, waiting to be released. Maybe your needs to have more rest, more fun or to get support are being ignored. Perhaps the connection to these emotional needs has become faint and hard to identify. They then show up disguised in another form…such as the impulse to overeat, drink or work. These behaviors are a way of managing the discomfort of pent-up emotions.  
 
You can also track how unexpressed needs leak out indirectly. Notice if you find yourself feeling resentful, complaining about minor things, or “forgetting” to follow through on a commitment. Other indirect expressions can be; teasing, sarcasm, unexpected explosive anger, or withdrawal from the person you have not been direct with.   

 If you don’t let others know what you need from them for whatever reason, it inevitably will show up in some of the ways I’ve mentioned. Better to express what you need right from the beginning. You can at least negotiate from there.

Here are some tips to help you get started:
 1. Take a few moments everyday to ask yourself, “How do I feel” and “What do I need”?  You can even program it to pop-up on your computer or Blackberry throughout the day. I know you can’t satisfy every need you have at the exact time you have them but you can remind yourself to keep checking in with your feelings.
 
2. If you find yourself feeling resentful, angry, or hurt by someone’s behavior, take a moment to ask yourself; “Have I directly expressed what I need to this person”?
 
3. If you find yourself over-working, eating, drinking or spending, ask yourself if there is some emotional need you are trying to manage through these behaviors.

Karol Ward, LCSW is a licensed psychotherapist and nationally recognized speaker. She is the author of, Find Your Inner Voice: Using Instinct and Intuition Through the Body-Mind Connection (Career Press, 2009).  For more information on Karol or to order her book, go to www.karolward.com

Plate sizes have grown in the past 20 years and so have our bellies! Have you ever taken a look at your grandmother’s china dinner plate? It kind of looks like a salad plate. Sad … but we have gotten used to oversized plates, glasses and bowls. The problem is that larger plates leads to larger portions of food!

Smaller plates = weight loss
Numerous studies have found that that people serve and eat more food from larger plates and bowls. Dr. Brian Wansink, director of the Cornell University Food and Brand Lab, has spent his career determining the hidden cues that make us eat. His studies have found that if you can shrink your plate and bowl size, you can cut out 100-200 calories a day. This translates into a 10-20 pound weight loss a year.

Specifically, here is what one of his tests found: A two inch difference in plate diameter — from 12″ to 10″ plates — would result in 22% fewer calories being served. If a typical dinner has 800 calories, a smaller plate would lead to a weight loss of around 18 pounds per year for an average size adult. And here is the best part – the people in his studies felt no hunger or didn’t even realize that their food portions were being decreased by the smaller plates!  (pic is of Dr. Wansink and myself at an NYU lecture).

Check these sites out
For those of you who want to find out more about the hidden cues that drive people to eat, I would recommend that you check out Dr. Wansink’s book: Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think. In addition, check out the Small Plate Movement™   The movement includes a collective weight loss goal, entitled the Small Plate Challenge. It will challenge participants to eat off of a 10″ plate for their largest meal of each day for one month. The Challenge officially launched on January 1, 2009, but can be incorporated at any time. During the period that you challenge yourself, we will also track other changes participants’ make in their lives, e.g. incorporating more vegetables in their diet or discussing the Challenge with co-workers. Small plate movement hopes to have 10 million people joined by Jan 2010.

So I would challenge city girls and guys who are trying to lose weight to buy smaller plates and bowls. You won’t even realize that you are eating less food! Before you know it, you should see the scale start to drop!

Once upon a time, all fats were trouble. Times have changed, but “fats” still have a bad rap. There are actually good fats—the unsaturated kind that help fight disease. Nutritionist Martha McKittrick explains good fats vs. bad, why not all fats are created equal and what to eat for a healthy, omega-3 rich diet. (pic is of me and Divya Gugnani, CEO and Founder of Behind the Burner and Culinary Expert)

Check out my video from Behind the Burner:

For those of you who haven’t checked out Behind the Burner yet, I would recommend that you do so! It’s the perfect place to explore your culinary desires. Do you find yourself trying to sneak a peek into the kitchen of your favorite restaurant? Do your culinary experiments extend from humble pumpkin pie recipes to molecular gastronomy? Are you curious about the latest cocktail craze and wondering about what wine to drink with dinner? Do you want to make healthy and nutritious foods without sacrificing flavor?

Behind the Burner aims to satisfy your craving for insider food and beverage tips, tricks and techniques by convincing the best culinary experts to spill their beans. Renowned chefs, from Wolfgang Puck to Francois Payard and Michael White to Michael Psilakis, present best-practice, timesaving solutions that dissolve the boundaries between professional and home kitchens.

From poultry brine recipes to juicy hamburger recipes, simple salads, healthy snacks, and chocolate dessert recipes, we’ve got the secrets to serving exquisite food in a flash. They also give you deals on the tools and ingredients that the experts use and recommend. With Behind the Burner, learning never tasted so good!

It’s only a few weeks until Groundhog Day – have you already forgotten about your resolution to exercise more in the New Year? There are tons of reasons why New Year’s Resolutions often fail. Instead of thinking of excuses why you can’t do something, why not try to figure out what kinds of activities or habits can motivate you to keep striving for your goals.

Here are some tips to get you started:
1. Set specific goals. Instead of saying “I will exercise more”, try “I will do 30 minutes of cardio 4 times each week and 30 minutes of strength training twice a week.” Then write down the steps you will take to reach that goal. Make small changes each week until you reach your goal – then stick with it!   (CBG tip: I think training for a specific event or race can be a great motivator. Check out Tina’s recent post on training for a half marathon. Also, keep in mind that there are a lot of sprint triathalons coming up in the spring)  Pic is of city guy G. doing NYC triathlon.

2. Set realistic goals. If you are just starting an exercise regimen, start slow. You are not going to be able to run 10 miles if you’ve never even done 1 mile before. Try a brisk walk first, then a walk/jog – increase the time/mileage slowly as you get more comfortable with exercising.

3. Find an activity that you like. If you do not like the activities you choose, you’ll be less likely to stick to your plan. Find something that you enjoy – maybe you really like Zumba classes or find that swimming is your thing. If you would rather be outside, find time to go to the park for your workout instead of dragging yourself to the gym all the time. Take some time to try a variety of activities and stick to the ones that will keep you going back for more!

4. Figure out what gets you motivated. Find a buddy to go to the gym with or create a work out mix on your iPod to get you pumped up. If your gym has TVs attached to the cardio equipment, go when your favorite show is on!   (CGB tip: perhaps the hottie at your local gym could be a motivating factor…)

5. Allow yourself to rest. Working out too hard for too long every day is just going to make you tired and you’ll be more likely to give up on your goal. Listen to your body and allow yourself a rest day after a hard workout. If you lifted weights and are very sore the next day, give your body some time to recover and see how you feel in a couple of days. Aim to exercise for at least 30 minutes on most days of the week.

6. Know the difference between soreness and pain. When first starting an exercise regimen, you WILL be sore. This will happen as your body adjusts to frequent activity. Though it’s normal for muscles to be sore, it is NOT normal to be in pain. If you do injure yourself, give your body some rest and see a doctor if the pain persists.   

7. Don’t get discouraged. Busy weeks will sneak up on you and unexpected events will happen. Do the best you can on hectic days. If you don’t have time to go to the gym or set aside 30 minutes to work out, break it into smaller sessions. Take a brisk 10 minute walk after lunch and then again after dinner. Take the stairs instead of the elevator. Do jumping jacks, pushups and crunches for 5 minutes before you shower in the morning and then do toe raises and squats while brushing your teeth or blow drying your hair.

8. Reward yourself. Pick something that you will enjoy, but not contradict your goal. Try a manicure or a movie with a friend as a reward.

CBG tip: pack your gym clothes with you when you go to work. This way you’ll hit the gym on your way home, because as we all know, once you get home, the couch can act like a magnet!

I would to thank Tina Gowin, Nutrition Fellow at NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital for writing this article. Tina is a avid runner – it is always a good idea to take advice from someone who practices what they preach!

Winter can put a chill your intentions to get out and exercise. Who wants to go outside when the temperature drops? Even those of us with the best intentions can turn onto slug mode … as the couch and tv call out your name!  But exercising in the cold weather can provide you with numerous benefits  – all it takes is a little motivation to get outside.

Benefits to exercising in the cold winter months
1. Exercise can help to boost endophorins and elevate mood. Many people suffer from mood changes when during the winter months.

2. You can burn more calories exercising in many cold weather sports. This is due to the effort of wearing extra clothes. Has anyone tried to walk around in ski clothes lately? You feel like the Michelon Tire Man!  Also, your body is less efficient on slippery surfaces, which burns more calories.

3. Can start to burn off those holiday calories. Studies show that the average person does not burn off the pound or two that accumulated over the holiday season. This leads to the creeping weight gain that many of us experience.

4. Will put you ahead of the game when spring comes … whether your goal is too look good in a bathing suit and shorts or to improve your time in your local 6 K race. 

4. Prevents boredom .. something different than the same old spinning or yoga class.

5. Meet new athletic minded people. While other city girls and guys are surfing the internet dating sites, you can be out meeting real people (and avoid the fudged profile scenario….) 

7. Invigorating and energizing and will also give you a nice rosy glow to your cheeks

So, assuming I’ve convinced you that exercising in the cold weather is a good idea, you will need to make sure you follow these tips to have a safe enjoyable experience. Don’t want to come back home with a frostbitten nose …

Cold weather exercise tips:
1. When exercising outdoors, it’s important to dress properly. Wear layers that you can peel off as necessary. Ideally, the layer closest to your skin should be made of a breathable wicking material and not sweat-absorbing cotton. Then add a layer of fleece or cotton for warmth and, finally, a windbreaker or waterproof outer layer.

2. Make sure you’ve adequately insulated your extremities. The face, fingers and toes are most likely to get frostbitten. Pain or tingling in your ears, fingers or toes is a sign that it’s time to come in from the cold.

3. Don’t forget a hat. Substantial body heat is lost through your head. (this city man would definitely need a hat!)

4. Though you may feel less thirsty in cold weather, continue to drink water while exercising. Dehydration can be a common problem when exercising in cold weather.

5. If you run in the dark, wear reflective clothing so that drivers can see you.

6. Sounds like common sense … but beware of the ice. 

7. Wear a helmet for sports including downhill skiing and snowboarding.

8. And as with any form of exercise, eat a snack or meal that includes mainly carbs and some protein prior to exercising. Don’t want to end up with low blood sugar when you are 5 miles into the woods on your snow shoes!

How many of you city girls and guys made a New Years Resolution to lose weight or get fit?  Unfortunately, these good intentions tend to dwindle as the months (or weeks or days…) go by. The more support you can get, the better. Look no further!  From calorie trackers to fitness tutorials, you can find pretty much anything you could ever want for managing your diet, weight, and fitness goals. And best of all, they’re all free or nearly free! These tools are perfect for city girl or guy who tends to have there iphone or blackberry glued to their hands.

Recommended BlackBerry and iPhone tools to help manage your weight
These suggestions were compiled by Nadine Fisher, registered dietitian and social media and Internet entrepreneur (and also the woman who designed my blog!). She says the best applications combine the ability to track food intake (eating) and energy expenditure (exercise). They may also provide information on eating out, food preparation and food selection.

Here are a few of her suggestions
Blackberry apps:
- BlackBerry Calorie Tracker by Livestrong: This app helps you with information such as how many calories are in your lunch and how many walking burns, and keeps a digital diary of your daily calories. ($2.99)

- Calorie Counter by FatSecret: This is the essential app to find nutritional info for the food you eat and to keep track of your meals, exercise and weight. (Free)

For more BlackBerry apps, go to appworld.blackberry.com/webstore.

iPhone Apps:
- iPhone Livestrong Calorie Tracker: Lets you calculate daily calorie intake and expenditure. ($2.99)

- Edibles Diet Journal: A cool app that lets you keep track of your calorie intake. ($4.99)

- Health Cubby: Lets you keep track of your weight-loss progress as well as your workouts and the amount of calories you burn each day. (“Lite” version free; full version $6.99)

- Weight Watchers Mobile: Chef Kent Rathbun used the weight-loss program’s online components to keep track of calories consumed and burned. (www.weightwatchers.com)

- Lose it: Set goals, create a daily calorie budget, record food and exercise, and view graphs of progress with this full-featured weight management app. After you enter your stats, you can create a custom plan, with an end date in mind, based on how much weight you want to lose per week.  NOTE: Esther, from Esther’s Weight Loss Journey uses this app and had found it extremely helpful. (See pic of Esther after a 19 pound weight loss)

Check out this site for more FREE apps for weight loss and fitness.

No more excuses! Download those apps now.

Looking for a motivating resolution that will help you become more physically active, pay closer attention to what you eat, AND help a great cause? How about running the New York City Half Marathon (March 21st) with the American Cancer Society’s DetermiNation team? 

Many people have a life long goal of running a marathon but have trouble even thinking about running 26.2 miles. Completing a half marathon can be a shorter-term goal for accomplishing your ultimate resolution in the future. Training with the American Cancer Society provides you with a support group to help achieve your goals – you’ll have free training from Asphalt Green, amazing coaches, incredible people to train with, and a dedicated committee to guide you along the way. You’ll soon find that everyone keeps each other motivated. Plus, you’ll be running to raise money for a great cause.  (pic is of Tina Gowin running in race with American Cancer Society’s DetermiNation team)
 

You’ll be amazed and inspired as people will thank you for running when they see your American Cancer Society training shirt. Not only will you be exercising to prepare for the BIG race, but you’ll quickly learn that what you eat affects how you feel during training. This helps you make better decisions about what you eat.  When you commit to doing such an event, you’ll be more likely to stick to the training program. And when you are raising money for an amazing cause, you’ll want to spread the word about what you strive to accomplish (accountability!!!). This way, you’ll have training partners, family, and friends keeping you motivated throughout your training. You wouldn’t want to raise money for an amazing cause and then not get through the race would you?

If you’re looking for more information or want to know about other events, come to an American Cancer Society DetermiNation information session or fun run. I bet you’ll be more motivated than ever. I know I was!

Information sessions at Hope Lodge on West 32nd street:
Wednesday, January 20th , 6:30-7:30pm

Fun runs
Sunday, February 28th – Al Gordon Snowflake Run, Prospect Park, Brooklyn

Please e-mail Sarah Coulam sarah.coulam@cancer.org if you plan on attending. Further information can also be found at the following website: www.acsdetermination.org
I would to thank Tina Gowin, nutritionist and nutrition fellow at the  NewYork-Presbyterian Hospital  for writing this article. Tina is a avid runner …  it is always a good idea to take advice from someone who practices what they preach! (pic is of Tina)

Check out these other helpful articles written by Tina:
Nutrition Tips for your long run
Don’t forget your water bottle

When you hear the word “snack”, what do you think of? Probably something that is loaded with sugar and fat! Most snacks aren’t associated with good nutrition. However, snacks can actually be nutritious and can even reduce your risk of heart disease. The trick will be to find the right kind of snack and keep it on hand for those snack attacks … so you don’t end up running to the nearest vending machine.

Check out my video on Heart Healthy Snacking on Behind the Burner

For more snacks, check out my FREE Snack Survival Guide handout

How many times have you made a New Years Resolution – whether it be to lose weight, exercise more or cut back on spending – only to find your motivation dwindle as the weeks go by? Staying motivated to accomplish a goal can be really difficult. Why is it that some people can meet their resolutions, while the majority fail miserably? The key is in setting concrete attainable goals and having the right attitude! Here are some tried and true tips to help you meet your goals.

Tips to help you meet your goals:
1. First, give some serious thought as to what your goals are and why you want to meet them.

2. Regularly remind yourself of the benefits associated with achieving your goals. For example, if you have a home office that is full of clutter (see pic – yikes!) and you have found it impedes your work performance, your goal could be to de-clutter your office. Improving your work efficiency would be a great motivating factor. Another example – losing 10 pounds might help you reduce your blood pressure medication (or even come off it totally!)

 3. Make sure your goals are realistic ands then break them down into smaller more specific goals.  Goals that are too large can be overwhelming and will only set you up for failure. Meeting these smaller goals will give you the confidence to meet larger goals. For example:

-If you haven’t exercised in years and/or have a really hectic schedule, setting a goal of exercising 6 times a week will likely set yourself up for failure. Exercising 3 times a week is a better goal to start with.
- Or perhaps your goal is to lose weight. If you haven’t weighed 120 pounds  since high school,  are currently 45 years old and weigh 150 pounds, trying to get to your college graduation weight of 115 is not a realistic goal and will only set you up for failure. Instead start with a goal of losing 5 pounds, then 10.

 4. Enlist support. Asking for support from family, friends or co-workers can help you meet your goals. Ask your husband to buy a flavor of ice cream you don’t like (if such a flavor exists).  Enlist the support of a co-worker to take lunch time walks with you. That way you will have an exercise buddy.

 5. Track your progress. Writing your goals on paper can make them seem more real. For example, if you are trying to limit your spending, keep a log of everything you spend. The same would go for a food or exercise record. Then write out what your daily or weekly goals would be. Compare what you actually did to the goals you set. Seeing that you were able to meet at least some of your goals can bolster your confidence.

 6. Reward yourself each time you meet your goal. Of course, make the reward appropriate.  No point in rewarding yourself with a pizza after losing 2 pounds or buying an $1000 pair of  boots after you paid off a credit card!

 7. Maintain a positive attitude. Focus on what you were able to accomplish rather than what you weren’t able to do. Ok, so maybe you didn’t meet your goal of exercising 3 times this week. But you were able to exercise twice – which was more than what you were doing a few weeks ago. Or perhaps you didn’t meet your goal of losing 2 pounds this week. However by eating healthier you felt much more energetic and had fewer sugar cravings. Focusing on the positive rather than the negative will increase your chances of ultimately meeting your goals.

8. Expect to revert to your old habits from time to time. Treat any failure as a temporary set-back rather than a reason to give up altogether.

Bottom line, setting smaller, more concrete, attainable goals will increase your chances of meeting them. The more small goals you meet, the more confidence you will gain. It is also more likely that these small changes will start to become a part of your lifestyle. This will eventually enable you to meet your larger goals. Keeping a positive attitude is a key factor in helping you meet your goals.

 So get out your pen and paper and start to tackle your goals step by step!

Not only does New Years Eve ring in the New Year, but I bet for many of you, it also rang in a hangover the next day. The kind where your head is pounding, you can barely open your eyes, your mouth feels like cotton balls, the nausea is overwhelming and junk food is calling your name. Been there, done that, swore you would never do it again. But you did! December 31st is one of the biggest party nights of the year. I was at the Snow Barn bar at Mount Snow, Vermont and witnessed the effects of excessive alcohol intake from many people surrounding me (of course, not me…)

So here is the question I bet many of you have:  Is there anything one can do to lessen the effects of having overdone the “adult beverages”?

Causes of hangovers
- There can be several causes for hangovers. Obviously overindulging is the major cause. Other causes could be drinking a beverage that does not agree with you. Colorless cocktails like vodka and gin are kinder on the body than dark whiskey or even red wine

- Not eating enough or being dehydrated prior to drinking can increase the risk of a hangover. Personally, if I did not drink enough fluid during the day, even 1-2 glasses of wine can cause a major headache the next day.

- Lastly, women are more susceptible to hangovers because they have less of the enzyme needed to break down alcohol.  (pic is city girl in party dress with nausea)

Why do hangovers occur?
The major reason is that alcohol dehydrates you. Alcohol blocks hormones in your kidney that normally would keep you from racing to the bathroom. With each drink, you effectively lose more water than you take in. Ever wonder why you keep running to the bathroom while having a few beers at happy hour? Dehydration leads to headaches. Here is another problem: when breaking down alcohol, your body pumps out lactic acid and other byproducts that hinder the production of glucose (sugar) and electrolytes (salts and other minerals that keep your body functioning properly). This can cause that weak woozy feeling you experience the next day.

So how should we deal with hangovers?
Of course, the best way to deal with hangovers is to prevent them! Moderation is always best. But if you do have one too many, here are some tips that may or may not help you:

1. Sleep! Stay in bed as long as you can and give your body a chance to recover.

2. Re-hydrate yourself. Drink plenty of water (though water is not that appealing to me if I feel hungover) or any beverage that appeals to you.

3. Drink a sports drink like Gatorade or Powerade. This will help to replace the electrolytes that your body lost during the night before.  (pic is of city girl who obviously overindulged)

4. Eat something. This can help to coat your stomach from the previous nights overindulgence in adult beverages.

5. Pain relievers such as aspirin, ibuprofen and acetaminophen all can help with headaches. However, be careful when mixing acetaminophen, such as Tylenol and Excedrin, with alcohol as it can cause damage to the liver.

6. Alternate between a hot and cold shower.

7. In Ireland, it was said that the cure for hangovers is to bury the ailing person up to the neck in moist river sand. Hudson River anyone????

8. A last resort: Legend has it that a morning nip – the “hair of the dog that bit you”-  can keep a hangover at bay. However, this would not be my first recommendation!